I DON'T SPEAK from being the expert on self-love...not by a long shot. But I do speak from the experience of going from being the "poster child of low-self esteem" (my label) with self-criticism coming out the ying-yang, to being quite an ordinary woman who happens to be pretty ok...with herself, myself, in this moment.
And I do speak from years of working with women face-to-face in sessions and in classrooms listening to struggles of poor self-image, perfectionism, high bars and everything in between.
But why now? Why do I bring up the topic now with such gusto. Three reasons:
- It is coming to me. I did not go searching for it. As of a few months ago, I didn't even like the term 'self-love'. But it came seeking me. On my walks. In my conversations. During my daydreams. Something wanted to be addressed. Something wanted to be talked about. NOW.
- I wasn't interested in self-love because I was too busy planning my next 'tinyhabits' class. I held 2 classes so far, but the 3rd one just wasn't flowing. It was as if the universe was telling me it had other plans for me...plans to put the habits class off on hold to focus on something more basic, more necessary, more fundamentally needed at this point in time.
- And, as my own tinyhabit practice of working on my Children's storybook dwindled to a halt, I realized that I was trying to put the cart before the horse - whatever that means. I was forcing my book to get 'out there' before I had some more basic needs met 'in here.' 'In here,' referring to my own journey, my own job of building my muscle of Self-Love.
And so the story goes, I surrendered to the fact that this thing - this Self-Love thing - wanted to happen. Validated by gads of positive comments on Facebook when I posted about it and supported by an influx of ideas pouring into my skull as I walked around the lake, I decided to take on this thing hook, line, and sinker and make a video series...without ever even publishing a video in my life. (Hence the very raw feel of the videos...to put it nicely ;-)
So here I am on the evening of my "put-myself-out-there-in-a-big-scary-way" video debut, trying not to 'count likes', check for subscriptions, or pay attention to any regret that rises. Because in all honesty, these things do happen.
- Little Meg comes out looking for approval
- Ego comes in like a banshee measuring 'success'
- And Fear does everything it can to ruin the party.
As I am learning, these very human things happen to the best of us ESPECIALLY after we expand our selves and try on new endeavors or creative projects. And so I do what I have been training myself to do...focus on serving my tribe and take the next right action.
So for now, serving my tribe meant writing this short personal blog giving the background of my SELF-LOVE video series. And the next right action...right now...is getting some sleep.
That means we get to talk about SELF-LOVE some more! Perhaps tomorrow! This has been fun. Thanks for stopping by.
(...to be Continued)